Pink Is the Loneliest Color

Technically, this is my second Breast Cancer Awareness Month as a breast cancer survivor. Last year I was still sick, bald and awaiting reconstruction so it didn’t feel like much of anything. I wasn’t able to pull the focus away from the micro of my situation to see the macro that is PINKTOBER. Guys, wow….

It’s Not Right, But It’s OK

Take a look at these two photographs… One might look at these and think, ‘Oh that poor girl, her life is a shitshow.’ Truth is, it isn’t so bad. At the risk of sounding righteous, these two inconveniences are just that, inconveniences. What matters is that I caught my breast cancer on a fluke and…

One Person’s Trash is Another Person’s Treasure

A few days ago, 2 very mean people screamed at me that I was ‘the biggest piece of white trash they’d ever seen’ and that ‘I need to be medicated.’ Couple of things: These people know of my cancer odyssey My kids were with me when this occurred I am so medicated it is ridiculous….

Started From the Bottom Now We Hair

There is so much talk of hair when you have a disease that involves chemotherapy. ‘Did you cut your hair before it fell out?,’ ‘What is it like to be bald?,’ ‘Did you consider cold caps?,’ ‘Is it growing back differently?’ It is such an obvious topic of discussion. But no one will think about…

Summer

We all get asked the same questions over and over: ‘How is your summer?’, ‘Are you traveling this summer?’, ‘Any exciting plans for the summer?’. My answers to these questions are: ‘Boring’, ‘Nope’ and ‘Nope,’ respectively. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Recall if you will… last summer was spent…

When Stress Turns into Palpable Fear 

*Cover Artwork by Bowen Kline* Today was an eventful day. I went with 5 kids and 3 adults to multiple tourist sites around Chicago. It really was fun, but also stressful. At any given moment, someone was either peeing in their pants or crying. I may or may not have done both, but I’ll never…

The DL on the DL

Mom, please stop reading right now. My father-in-law, I’m serious, this is not for your eyes. Anyone at all who doesn’t want to hear details about the goings on in my still functioning (barely) lady bits, this where where you exit the blog, stage left. BYE!!!! Here goes- A couple of technical things you should…

An Open Letter to Cancer

Dear Cancer, Four years ago today, you took my father from me. 8 months before that, he was just my dad, a seemingly very healthy 64 year old college professor. In the blink of an eye, he was living with Stage IV metastatic esophageal cancer. Within weeks of his diagnosis he was no longer able…

I Am Here, But Where Am I?

Most days I don’t think too much about being a cancer survivor. My life has equalized to a place that feels familiar, of pre-cancer Grace. There is currently nothing on my calendar that is out of the ordinary. My physical health is excellent. I have the right amount of energy for a mom of three…

Scars to Art (Don’t Panic, I’m Wearing Pasties)

Today is the one year anniversary of my bi-lateral mastectomy. About 6 months ago, I met a man who would change the course of my recovery. David Allen, a brilliant artist, agreed to create a mastectomy tattoo on my right (cancerous) side, to help obscure scars. More importantly, to give me back the power of…

Things I Learned About My Post-Cancer Body on a Beach Vacation

I just returned from the vacation of a lifetime. My husband and I went to, wait for it… Bora Bora for 8 days! The best way I can describe Bora Bora, Tahiti and French Polynesia, in general, is that I truly can’t believe that it exists on the same planet on which the rest of…